Why I've Never Celebrated Valentine's Day

My husband and I have been married for 6 and a half years, and have been a couple now for over 10.  And we’ve never once celebrated Valentine’s Day.  I personally never liked the idea of it for several reasons, and then when I met my husband he didn’t like it either – we were perfect for each other. 

I remember twice reaffirming why I didn’t celebrate this holiday.  Once when I worked at a restaurant and another time in college.  At the restaurant we could only take so many reservations, so the longest waits we ever saw were on Valentine’s Day.  And instead of seeing a bunch of lovey dovey couples, I saw a lot of girls in heels standing for 2 hours waiting for a table.  Nothing says romance like standing in your best heels for 2 hours waiting for a table.  

In college, there were a lot of couples who had only recently become couples, yet they were so stressed over this one day.  I saw a handful break-up on or right before the actual celebration.  One friend came over to my room on Valentine’s Day and asked if she could hang out with me while her roommate was with her boyfriend - she was depressed that she didn't have a boyfriend.  She hadn't been depressed all year about not having a boyfriend, until Valentine's Day hit.

So here are some of my reasons why I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day:

Obligation/Expectation.  The entire day is surrounded by a cloud of obligation.  And with that obligation can bring you to the last minute, not thought out gift, which can be just as bad as if you had just forgotten the whole thing.  The day has also become one big expectation.  Everyone is expecting something to happen, which makes nothing that happens today a real surprise. 

Outrageous expectations.  If the man (why is it always the man) doesn’t outdo himself from the previous year the woman is somehow let down.  Similarly, the media and chick flicks have infiltrated this poor girl’s mind, so even if her man does do something really nice, she may have been expecting something she’s seen on Pinterest, a Katherine Heigl movie, or a Kay Jewelers ad.  Also, for the man who does do a great job outdoing himself and really wows his girl, this apparently gives all her friends ammunition for an argument with their own guys.  “So-and-so’s man did this for her!  And you only got me flowers!?”  We’ve all seen this. 

Singleness.   Since there’s no single’s people day, Valentine’s Day just doesn’t seem fair.  Valentine’s Day movies and media have created this unfortunate cliché of seeing the single people as “sad and lonely,” on Valentine’s Day, like my college friend.  Or worse seeing the single people drinking themselves to sleep on Valentine’s Day.  If you’re single, there’s nothing wrong with that.  And please don’t drink yourself to sleep tonight. 

In the Classroom.  A few years ago I went through some old boxes from my younger school years.  I found handfuls of Valentine’s from classmates from 20 years ago that went straight into the recycling bin.  It used to be where we could give Valentine’s cards to anyone we wanted.  Then I remember when a few teachers made us give Valentine’s to every single classmate, including the ones we didn’t like.  So I’d have to search through the cards picking out the least “lovey” for the kids I didn’t like.  Who else remembers doing that?  I’m sure kids are still doing it to this day.  Save some trees and skip this holiday teachers.  Giving a Valentine to the kid that picked on us wasn’t fun.

Twice a year.  I also never liked how this was it.  There’s your anniversary and Valentine’s Day.  The two days you are supposed to celebrate your love.  This never sat well with me.  My husband and I are constantly celebrating our love.  Little notes on the fridge.  Random love note texts.  Weekly date nights, even if it’s snuggled on the couch watching Netflix.  Making time for each other is an important part of any relationship.  There has to be more than just twice a year to remember how amazing our significant other is.  If not, you might not make it to Valentine’s Day anyways.

Am I saying you should stop celebrating Valentine's Day?  No, of course not.  I believe there is a way to celebrate this holiday and not be bogged down by what society has turned it into.  I know a lot of people who have cool traditions and do fun and amazing things on Valentine’s Day.  I’m just saying it’s not for me.  Every Valentine’s Day, I thank my husband for never celebrating Valentine’s Day with me, and instead making me feel special and loved throughout the whole year.  If you celebrate Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to let the things you do today become habits throughout the rest of the year.  Love is the best thing on this planet, it shouldn't be celebrated on just one day.  You can always use today as an excuse to spoil your kids like my mom does.  Thanks for always giving me presents on Valentine’s Day Mom!

Anybody else out there who doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day?